This story is similar to all parents who face homosexuality from one of their children. It is the story of a mother named Clo, who has two children: a girl and a boy. This narrative could be the story for many of those who follow up on my writings. Parents who suspect that their children have gay tendencies but, on many occasions, do not dare to confront them for fear of confirming them and for not knowing how to face a new reality: the homosexuality of one of their children.
In Clo’s daughter’s childhood, there was no sign of homosexuality, only her shyness, but Clo knew that this did not make her daughter any different. Clo always thought: “she is a shy girl, isn’t that why she’s gay?” Clo ever had excellent communication with her daughter, hoping that one day she would open her heart, but for Clo’s daughter, it was not easy because she was not clear about what she felt either. Sometimes she played ball and soccer with his friends, but is this enough of a clue to frame her as gay? Or it’s just the freedom of this new millennium that allows men and women to carry out a diversity of activities equally.
By adolescence, she had friends of both sexes, but without paying particular attention to the opposite sex. Is this a sign? Clo wondered and always answered: “my daughter is clear about her goals; she does not want to have a boyfriend or have children at an early age; she wants to study.” Clo recalls that her daughter had her first boyfriend at age 15. When she presented him at home, Clo and her family thought that this new stage would leave doubts about her sexual identification behind. On one occasion, her daughter told her how outraged she felt when her boyfriend “touched her breasts,” called her disrespectful, and was so scandalized then she ended the relationship that was beginning. For Clo’s heart, this overreaction was one of the signs that would later reaffirm that her daughter was gay.
When Clo’s daughter started college, she sometimes paid attention to her makeup. So many other times, she came out scruffy, letting her beauty go unnoticed. She loved wearing jeans, but are all women who love to wear jeans and decide not to put on makeup gay? She focused on studying and enjoying her learning process. Clo sometimes forced her to be more feminine and to follow the rules of every woman: putting on makeup, wearing dresses, heels, wallets. Her daughter did it to please her mother, her grandmothers, and her aunt. But she did it more out of an obligation to her family than out of pleasure. Sometimes Clo would listen to some of her daughter’s conversations with her friends and observe the connection she had with her best friends. But is it a sign of homosexuality that we have best friends? Are all the people who have close friendships with people of the same sex, and for that reason, are they gay? The signs were not forceful, but Clo’s heart told her that something was different. Clo remembered that in her adolescence, she had also been shy, but unlike her daughter, she had liked many children in her neighborhood: tall, short, fat, skinny, curly, straight, white, black. Her daughter was not the same, but Clo they answered: “This is another generation.”
This teenager, who was already projecting herself as a professional, began her work history. Clo realized that her daughter showed her dad the taste for women. It was becoming more evident and confronting her gently, Clo’s daughter always came forward with a denial. Her work made her vibrate, and in fact, it was her refuge. It was her way of avoiding facing her ghosts, her “demons.” As the years went by, Clo was concerned that her daughter, who was going through long trances of depression and little communication, thought about suicide. One day Clo summoned up her courage and told her daughter that even though she was facing the most significant problem and was in that emotional confinement, she would seek help to avoid suicide. Together with her husband, they took their daughter to visit a psychologist. It was not very helpful because Clo’s daughter was still in denial, but she knew that other types of help existed and that her parents were willing to support her. It was a way of dealing with his daughter’s homosexuality more directly.
After many years of secretly receiving unconditional support from her younger brother and confidante, having a girlfriend on the sly, many lies, and consulting with her heart, Clo’s daughter decided to speak. She sat her parents in the living room and, in the middle of a liberating cry, told them that she was gay. The parents cried, hugged, and said they knew it; they understood her and that the love they felt for her was not going to change. Clo was calmer; her daughter had “come out of the closet” and had been released from the prison in which she was. Now Clo’s daughter had the open possibility of having a girlfriend. She took a significant step, which would take her on the path of making up for lost time on her emotional journey and the search for happiness. Her daughter was gay, but she was still loving, responsible, hardworking, enterprising, the only thing that had changed was her sexual identification. Everyone had discovered that the best way to deal with their homosexuality was with love, understanding, and respect. The love was still the same; the only thing Clo wanted to get was the happiness for her daughter, so now Clo is happy with her two daughters-in-law.